The shriek came from whence, and made me rather tense, then the quiet startled me so, then my throat grew a lump and I felt my soul jump under this bloody mistletoe

I stood not for a kiss the hopeful bliss or the touch of a very soft girl, but rather the curling and purring the hair on my skin stirring, the crazy that gave me a whirl

I sought quickly to flee, what might to be, to simply pine me free, but the curiosity I had kept, and the conclusions I leapt kept me chained to see

What of the furnace and the soot producing ruckus, and why had it come so late?

I know it’s Christmas eve but Santa isn’t really real, is this some devilish fate

First it came HO HO HO, then a biddle dum twiddle dum Dee What the fuck, what the actual fuck, who the hell could it be?

I moved closer past my ugly brown sofa that sat idly in my sad den,
But my brown loafers looked like a live gopher, and the throw pillow a really live hen

On edge I was, and ready to snap, but I stuck it out just for this A Christmas miracle or a midnight criminal, and for whatever smelled like piss

One more thump and a big loud clunk the anonymous fell to the floor, The chimney had given birth to a sexy angel who probably should have used the door.

“Surprise” she said to overlook the fact that her entrance had not shown her wits, but boy did I not care because the Santa outfit was fare and brilliantly showcased her tits

“What do we have here, girl friend of the year? It definitely beats candy in a sock” “I flew home from Vancouver to surprise you loser and to merrily suck your cock”

“Is this heaven or still the 25th of December, and how exactly do I get this every year?”
“You marry me asshole, and warm my soul, and your heaven will always be near”

“Well it’s a good fucking thing that I bought this ring, and held it near me til you got back because even if a day early with our lives completely swirly, I can gladly say I love you and that’s a fact.”

“You stupid cute boy, who lives in troy, I know our lives are completely in contrast, I love you though, and I’ll marry you so, and I’ll move heaven and earth to make it last.”